Hey Reader, In 1955, psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham developed a framework for mapping our awareness and self-awareness called the Johari Window. Here’s how it works:(And a quick note: when I first learned this framework, I found myself labeling qualities in different quadrants as good/bad. If you notice yourself doing the same, try to step back and hold the contents of each quadrant without judgement. In Quadrant 1, this is us on full, transparent display. If you were to map this quadrant for yourself, it would include the thoughts, feelings, narratives, stories, and behaviors you know about and that others know about you. For example, I know I love tardigrades and, because I share about them on Instagram, others know this about me as well. This part of my personality is purely Quadrant 1 material. But in Quadrant 2, things get a little more spicy. These are the parts of ourselves we don’t recognize, but other people do. If you were to ask someone what they think fits in this quadrant for you, they might list unrecognized gifts or tendencies, the ways you act out your unexamined privileges or biases, or even one or two little mannerisms you didn't know you have. Intimate partners, friends, family, and community members who come from different socioeconomic backgrounds and experiences often have front row seats to these parts of us. They are at times the closest benefactors of our unknown gifts and the most in danger of being harmed by our unrecognized biases and behavioral patterns. Those closest to us can hold up the mirror in ways that absolutely devastate our sense of identity, but also open us to new levels of awareness and healing. Quadrant 3 is home to our hidden stories and the things we hold close to the chest. These are the parts of ourselves we know about, but don’t want others to know. Included here might be constricting narratives and stories with which we hold guilt and shame or simply things we have chosen to maintain boundaries around. They are the things we'd just...rather keep to ourselves. (And the size of this quadrant changes based on who the “others” are; for example, I keep some aspects of my identity hidden from my employer while happily sharing them with my friends.) Then there’s the strange and curious Quadrant 4: the land of mystery. In this land lives the things about us nobody has awareness of…not even ourselves! Lisa Colón Delay refers to this as the space of “our growing edges.” She says we only get to experience what emerges from this quadrant when it moves into our (or others') awareness through the first three quadrants. I admit – this is a hard space to conceptualize. But I think of the ah-ha moments we might have in therapy or in a good journaling session, when a new insight pops up as if out of nowhere. Or when we're out walking in nature and realize something new about the direction of our life. The contents of this quadrant become more and more apparent as we gently tend to the contents of the other ones. ❓ Questions
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Frameworks and practices to help you navigate the stories you’re carrying, embody practices that help you feel present, and begin to move into action. Delivered to your inbox every Wednesday morning before you even wake up.
Hey Reader, Since I began sharing with you about The Gentle Change Collective, I’ve been receiving some really great questions. I’ve compiled a few of them here in case you've wondered similar things! 👉 And if you want a refresher on what this program is going to look like, here’s the last email I sent you. Q: I’ve felt so overwhelmed by what’s happening in our country and abroad. I can’t help feeling like I need to do SOMETHING in my own small way. How can I identify what is mine to do in...
Hey Reader, A quick request: as we come to the close of the year, I have a reader survey for you! It’ll only take a couple minutes and will help inform what The Wednesday 1-2-3 looks like going forward. 📝 Please complete this short 2024 Reader Survey (And in case it helps: there's a cute tardigrade gif at the end of the survey 😂) Last week I was talking with a friend about burnout – specifically “activist burnout.” He mentioned how folks who engage in activism often go full-speed ahead until...
Hey Reader, When was the last time you got stuck in a negative thought pattern or memory? For me, this happens most often when I’m out walking. I’ll meander through my neighborhood, intent on connecting with nature, but instead find myself lost in a memory or what feels like a tornado of unpleasant imaginings based on a past experience. These kinds of moments are referred to as intrusive or brooding ruminations. Image Credit: Sandstone Care Luckily, there are some pretty wonderful techniques...