I recently received an email from one of our Wednesday 1-2-3 readers sharing this super relatable challenge: “setting goals I can stay with over time.”

Woof – me too!

In my day job, I train teachers in a style of education known as project-based learning. And one of the things I talk most with teachers about is how we can emphasize “process over product” in our classrooms. (You can probably guess: I have a lot of critical things to say about standardized testing.)

In other words, I work with teachers to emphasize the daily process of learning rather than focusing on the “thing” that gets turned in (or not) at the end.

When I think about goal-setting, I come at it from a similar place:

How can we, through daily actions and practices, move directionally toward the person we want to become, without grasping onto our image of a specific desired endpoint or outcome?

This is a massive mindset shift for those of us living in environments committed to SMART Goals and productivity-based evaluation.

But here’s the invitation of process-oriented goal-setting:

Instead of creating and committing to specific “endpoint goals,” try experimenting with daily actions and practices that move you, loosely and playfully, toward what you want to happen.

A couple examples:

• If you want to be healthier, instead of setting the endpoint goal of “lose 15 pounds in three months,” create a daily practice of walking in the morning. And then tinker with it: maybe try the afternoon, maybe just around the block, maybe invite your neighbor. Don’t judge yourself on whether or not you’ve reached the arbitrary endpoint; assess whether your daily practice is helping you live the life you want to live.
• If you want to write a book, emphasize the daily practice of writing, in whatever form that looks for you. Don’t obsess over the outcome or timeline, just find a practice that feels good.

Find the daily practices that fit who you are and move you in an intentional way toward the person you feel yourself becoming.

Jerry Colonna refers to this as “incremental progress that’s directionally correct.”

(My short guide on how to create these kinds of daily practices is linked below.)

It flies in the face of almost everything I’ve been taught in the professional setting – and in most of my schooling. And, to be honest, it doesn’t work for everything; sometimes urgency necessitates more time-bound goals.

But I know from experience this style of process-oriented goal setting feels a lot better, less guilt-inducing, more stick-to-able, and more playful for me.

A big thank you to Cassandra for sharing this challenge with me! If you’re wrestling with a specific challenge or issue, feel free to hit reply and I’ll either send you a personal reply or dedicate a future edition of The Wednesday 1-2-3 to you! (Or both!)

❓ Questions

1. Take a few moments to think about your history with setting goals. Has there been a time when emphasizing the outcome hindered your sense of progress and/or happiness? How might a process-oriented approach have changed your experience?
2. How can you incorporate more playfulness and flexibility into your goal-setting practices to make them more enjoyable and sustainable?

🧰 Resources

• “How to Find a Daily Practice That Fits You” (article)
• ​Be Mindful, Not Anxious (6-week course from Kelly Hanlin McCormick)
• ​The Power of Ritual by Casper ter Kuile (book)

Hope all is well-enough with you,

Andrew IG: @andrewglang​