Hey Reader,

This week I wanted to share a short video from one of my favorite activists, Alok Vaid-Menon.

​You can watch the 40-ish second video here. (It’s an Instagram post, but should be accessible without an account.)

The question they begin with, “who broke your heart?” is such a beautiful and frustrating question, in all its variations:

• Who showed you that playing small was necessary to survive?
• With whom was conflict so scary you learned to run from it?
• Who insisted you act in that specific way for their benefit?
• Who taught you to turn from the activities you loved?
• Who told you that you needed to be reasonable?
• Who broke your heart?

These kinds of questions might stir up memories, regrets, fears, grief, judgement.

But it’s not really about who did any of this or even why it happened.

It’s about beginning to rekindle our proximity and intimacy with the parts of ourselves we’ve long since tucked away somewhere deep inside.

The parts that loved dancing in the kitchen and jumping on beach logs; that were loud and ridiculous and exuberant; that had no problem asking questions without feeling shame.

Alok’s question is an invitation to reconnect with those parts of ourselves and to consider – even if just for a moment – what it might mean to invite them back to the surface.

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❓ Questions

1. What parts of yourself have you given less space to as you’ve grown older?
2. What are aspects or events in your life that seem to invite these parts of you to emerge? (What sparks that feeling of full aliveness?)

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🧰 Resources

• “I am Here, Waiting to Heal Together,” by Alok Vaid-Menon (article)
• ​Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon (book)
• ​No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz (book)

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⏪ If you missed last week's email:

Hope all is well-enough with you,

Andrew IG: @andrewglang​

P.S. Because you're on the waitlist for the new program I'm building, look for my first update on Friday!

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