A few weeks ago, I shared a big-picture framework from Gabes Torres on how we might stay engaged when faced with injustice and oppression. You can read it at the link above, but in short: Gabes invites us to recognize and digest our world’s (and our own) trauma, prioritize space for rest, and return to collective and direct action. She refers to this process – which is nonlinear and ongoing – as oscillation. Today, I’d like to share a more in-the-moment framework you can use when you unexpectedly witness injustice right in front of you. It’s called the 5 D's of Bystander Intervention. In my opinion, the 5 D's of Bystander Intervention is one of the most important frameworks we can internalize as part of our inner work. (Because inner work is never isolated work.) Have you ever witnessed harassment or some form of dehumanizing disrespect and thought, “what should I do?” Perhaps you jump into action or look to others to see what they’re doing; maybe you look around for a way out...or keep looking down at your phone, just hoping the situation will end soon. Regardless, there's no need for shame or guilt – often, we default toward inaction because we don’t have an embodied practice of anything else yet. Here are five ways you might act in moments like these: DistractPurpose: to interrupt the situation without escalation. How: introduce a topic to the person experiencing harassment or harm, entirely unrelated to the situation. Possible phrases to try:
DelegatePurpose: to build support and numbers. How: locate another bystander, name what you see happening, and ask them to help you intervene. Possible phrases to try:
DocumentPurpose: to record or document the situation. How: take notes or video a situation as it is taking place. Always ask the person being harassed afterward what they would like you to do with the documentation. (Note: this option has both safety and legal ramifications as it relates to state-by-state recording laws. If nobody is helping the person being harmed, try using another of the 5 D's first.) DelayPurpose: to check-in with the person being harmed following the event. How: validate the person and their experience by showing solidarity and support. Possible phrases to try:
DirectPurpose: to intervene directly with the person causing harm. How: confront the person doing harm and name the inappropriate behavior directly. (Note: this option can be dangerous and should be assessed using the questions found here.) Possible phrases to try:
Always discern which of these is most appropriate for you in the moment as well as how they might impact your safety. A final note on the relevancy of these tactics:For those of us living in the United States, we are officially back in a presidential election cycle. And over the next few months, this reality will be top of mind for many of our family members, colleagues, folks we pass on the street, and, of course, ourselves. This means the language, rhetoric, and behavior modeled by the candidates will show up in all aspects of our lives. Given what we know about former President Trump, this is going to include witnessing instances of dehumanizing harm, hatred, and harassment. It is going to be vital for each of us to know how to intervene and then to do it when necessary. If you would like more training in bystander intervention, Right to Be offers a variety of free workshops rooted in these practices. I can’t recommend this group’s work enough; I truly believe everyone should take one of their offerings. Their upcoming free workshops are linked below. Questions
Resources
⏪ If you missed last week's email:🧩 Community Question(As an invitation into storytelling, I'll be sharing a community question each week for the next month or so. If an answer or short story pops up for you in response, please share by hitting "reply!") In times of crisis, what is one practice or activity that has helped you feel stable, secure, or whole? A big thank you to Barb, Martina, Tim, Michael, and Ruth for your responses to last week’s question about wisdom teachers. I wanted to pass along Ruth’s beautiful reflection: “My dear grandmother, who I called Gram, was such a loving wise person in my life. When she died, I felt like I lost a best friend. Her joy of living and hope and laughter and wise living was a huge influence on me and still is as I try to embody her.” Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🙏 Hope all is well-enough with you, |
Inner work frameworks, practices, and questions – all in a five-minute read. Delivered to your inbox every Wednesday morning before you even wake up. Written and curated by Andrew Lang.
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